Post Tagged with: "accident"

Spiders are evil.

Is the “Halo” gaming franchise promoting Self-Rape?

Here is what the Liberal lies claim about this “game” on Wikipedia(a known Communist site): “In the distant past, a powerful race called the Forerunners fought an alien parasite known as the Flood. The Flood, which spread through infestation of sentient life, overran much of the Milky Way Galaxy. One […]

by January 20, 2015 24 comments Big Masturbation
Jeremy Clarkson is a Black Anus due to his racism.

Bruce Danus Saves Top Gear from the KOK River

A British show about bad motor vehicles, called “Top Gear”, recently traveled to my favorite Third World Country, Thailand/Burma. They ran into many issues, because Jeremy Clarkson is a racist. We all need to pray at Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. While I hate these 3 humans, mainly […]

by November 23, 2014 7 comments Celebrity
Masturbation is Russian Roulette!

Masturbation is Russian Roulette!

Heart attacks, blindness and ligament damage (Devil’s Elbow) are all diseases associated with self-rape.  Whenever you masturbate you’re playing Russian Roulette!  Your next stroke of the sin-sword or ringing of the Devil’s Doorbell could be your last!  Do you really want to go out like British rocker Michael Hutchinson or […]

by October 20, 2014 11 comments Death
Brother Lonnie Announces Efforts to Repeal 19th Amendment

Brother Lonnie Announces Efforts to Repeal 19th Amendment

When Barak Obama signed the 19th Amendment into law few could have seen the unintended disastrous consequences.  LIEberal activist judges have taken liberties with this new law imbuing it with rights that were never intended.  The 19th Amendment was designed to make female circumcision legal and somehow these hactivist judges […]

Police are baffled as to the cause of the demise of the Lonnie Childs Private Library

BLUFF Librarian Publishes Book, Library Burns To The Ground

Stafford, AZ – The Lonnie Childs Private Library, operated and managed by Alicia Stephenhopper, has burned to the ground under suspicious circumstances. The state of the art facility, offering the latest dial-up internet access and dozens of books and publications to the members of the BLUFF compound, will be closed […]

by August 30, 2014 11 comments Disciples
Michael Hutchinson, Lead Singer of British Band INXS, Suffers Humiliating Masturbation Death

Michael Hutchinson, Lead Singer of British Band INXS, Suffers Humiliating Masturbation Death

Hear that sound?  That’s the sound of Satan accepting a new victim into his realm.  Michael Hutchinson, lead singer of British death metal band INXS, died recently due to masturbation-related complications.  From an outsider’s perspective Michael seemed to have a fulfilling yet wild life.  He had money, fame and respect.  […]

The Morning After…For the Masturbation Addict

The Morning After…For the Masturbation Addict

“What happened last night?  Did I get selfraped? Who do I turn to?” Turn to Christ, young masturbator!  Take the STOP Masturbation NOW pledge of self-celibacy today!  Praise!

by August 9, 2014 18 comments Lifestyle
Don’t Diddle & Drive

Don’t Diddle & Drive

Thinking of self-raping in the bay? Think again, shark-food!

Sharp Rise in Deaths As Sharks Attack and Eat Masturbators

EAST COAST- U.S.A (SMNNN) An unprecedented increase in various species of sharks attacking and eating people, is most likely caused by masturbation, Faithscientists say. This year, dozens of people on the East Coast have been attacked and/or eaten by sharks, and until recently, nobody had even the slightest clue why. […]

by July 28, 2014 33 comments Death, Science, Self-Rape Prevention, Weather
The Chelyabinsk meteor injured many people.

Girl Killed by Meteor Strike While Masturbating

Chelyabinsk, Russian Communist C.C.C.P (SMNN) Thanks to a huge out-pouring of public information, B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow’s informational staff have found evidence that a 16-year-old female was killed by a meteorite impact, while masturbating outside, during the Chelyabinsk Meteor Incident in February of 2013. Magda Leshniac […]

by July 25, 2014 42 comments Death, Foreigners, Science, Spot a Masturbator, Weather, World
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