It is OK to let doctors masturbate me because scLIEnce says that I must allow them to smear my paps!
Status: B U S T E D!
Nice try ladies! This line of reasoning completely falls apart when one considers the findings of The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow, which clearly establishes that any mitigation of health outcomes attributed to medical masturbation fall well bellow the threshold for statistical significance. Moreover, it has been clearly demonstrated that petitioning for divine intervention yields […]