Archive for August, 2014

Faithfact

You Can Fool Yourself But You Cannot Fool God: Masturbation is Self-Rape

Many of the masturhaters who troll this holy netsite have convinced themselves that masturbation is “hip” and “cool”.  Tell me, is burning in Hell for eternity “hip” and “cool”?  The faithfact is that masturbation is a form of self-rape.  Not so “cool” now, is it?  STOP Masturbation NOW and become […]

by August 31, 2014 11 comments Faith Fact Series
Police are baffled as to the cause of the demise of the Lonnie Childs Private Library

BLUFF Librarian Publishes Book, Library Burns To The Ground

Stafford, AZ – The Lonnie Childs Private Library, operated and managed by Alicia Stephenhopper, has burned to the ground under suspicious circumstances. The state of the art facility, offering the latest dial-up internet access and dozens of books and publications to the members of the BLUFF compound, will be closed […]

by August 30, 2014 11 comments Disciples
Merriam-Webster's newest word: FAPSTINENCE.  Praise!

Merriam-Webster Adds Anti-Masturbation Word to Their Dictionary : FAPSTINENCE

After months of lobbying, we here at STOP Masturbation NOW are proud to announce a major victory over the powerful forces of Big Masturbation and enemies of God-given morals everywhere!  Praise!  The good folks at Merriam-Webster have added the word “Fapstinence” to their dictionary, acknowledging all of the hard work […]

by August 28, 2014 8 comments Lexicon
Bill Gates Donates $1 Million To Gun Control; $2 Million To Tina’s Law

Bill Gates Donates $1 Million To Gun Control; $2 Million To Tina’s Law

American Billionaire and sometimes computer whiz kid, Bill Gates, shocked second amendment advocates when he donated $1 million (SMD) to a Washington State campaign to expand background checks on gun sales. The Gates family’s disturbing anti-Bill of Rights donation was negated moments later when Gates donated $2 million (USD) to a committee to […]

by August 27, 2014 4 comments Money, Politics, Tina's Law
"My true happiness will be when I can free myself from  self rape and have a Same Race Normal Superior Sex Male Husband to think for me" -Krista

THE WOMAN WHO THINKS REDUCING THE MALE MASTURBATER POPULATION BY 90 PERCENT WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING

By TheRev Leroy Jenkins The Femitheist is a 22-year-old criminology student with a three-year-old. One angry day in 2012 she took to the Internet to outline the brutal concept of International Mastubater Castration Day. After posting it on YouTube she stepped out for a coffee. Returning home a few hours […]

Say “NO” To Pornographics!

Say “NO” To Pornographics!

A recent survey shows 85 percent of rapes and molestations are reenactments of a porn video/DVD. This means every time someone downloads an internet pornographic, there is an 85 percent chance that it will eventually result in a rape or molestation of a child.  If you, or someone you know, […]

by August 25, 2014 12 comments Celebrity, Morals, Pornographics
Masturbation Triggered Japasian Landslides

Masturbation Triggered Japasian Landslides

HIROSHIMA, Japasia – The devastating landslides that rocked Japasia and caused numerous deaths and billions of yen worth of property damage were determined to have been triggered by massive and furious masturbation, according to scientists working for the Foundation For a Better Tomorrow. Although the communist government does not officially […]

by August 25, 2014 26 comments World
Anti-Masturbation Victory; Kari Byron To Leave ‘Mythbusters’ ScLIEnce Show

Anti-Masturbation Victory; Kari Byron To Leave ‘Mythbusters’ ScLIEnce Show

Discovery channel scLIEnce program, “Mythbusters”, took a controversial step by firing three cast members, including masturbator favorite Kari Byron. The official version of the story given by the network and the cast members was that the show will be “going in a new direction” next season. Fans of the scLIEnce […]

by August 24, 2014 16 comments Celebrity, Trending
Big Masturbation Announces ‘This Ain’t Stop Masturbation Now’ Film

Big Masturbation Announces ‘This Ain’t Stop Masturbation Now’ Film

Big Masturbation announced, by way of one of their pornography shell companies, that they plan to film a ‘porn parody’ of Lonnie Childs and His popular Stop Masturbation Now movement. At press time it was not known who has been cast to play the role of Our Savior, Lonnie Childs. […]

TSA Backscatter Scanners Successful In Reducing Masturbation

TSA Backscatter Scanners Successful In Reducing Masturbation

A two-year study by the Foundation For A Better Tomorrow found that the TSA Backscatter Anti-Terrorist Scanners not only kept America safe but also reduced the urge to masturbate in those travelers zapped by the machines. Faith Researcher and spokesman Paul Nelson explains, “We followed travelers that went through the Backscatter […]

by August 23, 2014 7 comments Politics, Trending, World
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