Many of the masturhaters who troll this holy netsite have convinced themselves that masturbation is “hip” and “cool”. Tell me, is burning in Hell for eternity “hip” and “cool”? The faithfact is that masturbation is a form of self-rape. Not so “cool” now, is it? STOP Masturbation NOW and become […]
Stafford, AZ – The Lonnie Childs Private Library, operated and managed by Alicia Stephenhopper, has burned to the ground under suspicious circumstances. The state of the art facility, offering the latest dial-up internet access and dozens of books and publications to the members of the BLUFF compound, will be closed […]
After months of lobbying, we here at STOP Masturbation NOW are proud to announce a major victory over the powerful forces of Big Masturbation and enemies of God-given morals everywhere! Praise! The good folks at Merriam-Webster have added the word “Fapstinence” to their dictionary, acknowledging all of the hard work […]
American Billionaire and sometimes computer whiz kid, Bill Gates, shocked second amendment advocates when he donated $1 million (SMD) to a Washington State campaign to expand background checks on gun sales. Naturally, this has made some very proud Americans angry and they are now questioning Bill Gate’s “philanthropic” actions. It […]
By TheRev Leroy Jenkins The Femitheist is a 22-year-old criminology student with a three-year-old. One angry day in 2012 she took to the Internet to outline the brutal concept of International Mastubater Castration Day. After posting it on YouTube she stepped out for a coffee. Returning home a few hours […]
A recent survey shows 85 percent of rapes and molestations are reenactments of a porn video/DVD. This means every time someone downloads an internet pornographic, there is an 85 percent chance that it will eventually result in a rape or molestation of a child. If you, or someone you know, […]
HIROSHIMA, Japasia – The devastating landslides that rocked Japasia and caused numerous deaths and billions of yen worth of property damage were determined to have been triggered by massive and furious masturbation, according to scientists working for the Foundation For a Better Tomorrow. Although the communist government does not officially […]
Discovery channel scLIEnce program, “Mythbusters”, took a controversial step by firing three cast members, including masturbator favorite Kari Byron. The official version of the story given by the network and the cast members was that the show will be “going in a new direction” next season. Fans of the scLIEnce […]
Big Masturbation announced, by way of one of their pornography shell companies, that they plan to film a ‘porn parody’ of Lonnie Childs and His popular Stop Masturbation Now movement. At press time it was not known who has been cast to play the role of Our Savior, Lonnie Childs. […]
A two-year study by the Foundation For A Better Tomorrow found that the TSA Backscatter Anti-Terrorist Scanners not only kept America safe but also reduced the urge to masturbate in those travelers zapped by the machines. Faith Researcher and spokesman Paul Nelson explains, “We followed travelers that went through the Backscatter […]
