I Was Self-Raped

December 21, 2014 49

(SMNN) The sad fact of the matter is, no one asks to be self-raped. You don’t wake up in the morning, and say “Hey, maybe I’ll violate myself today, that’d be great.” Self-rape happens. Here […]

A Third World Christmas

December 18, 2014 4

By: Cassidy Pen, USMC (ret.) My dear friends in Christ through the Lonaldian Way, as you hopefully are putting the finishing touches on your preparations to celebrate the Birthday of Baby Jesus with your appointed spouses […]

In-Depth Interview with Big Masturbation

December 16, 2014 4

SECRET LOCATION- SOMEWHERE (SMNNN) We at Stop Masturbation Now are pleased to present this interview with an actual high-ranking official of Big Masturbation. Our own Professor Doctor Wizard Cardinal Thomas Kelly interviewed this “person” about […]

A Day of Tragedy, Remembrance and Joy

December 14, 2014 20

A day that was meant to be a glorious event full of love, the marriage of Myron Danus to Paula Austin, turned to tragedy today, but we at the Stop Masturbation Now compound are not […]

Ban the Term “Diddly-squat”

December 9, 2014 9

In this week’s “Ranting Towards Redemption With Brother Cassidy” column, I provide insight toward the use of a phrase that I find highly unacceptable due to its offending nature. My dear friends in Christ Through […]

STOP Masturbation NOW Under Attack By Paid Shills!

December 9, 2014 14

Matthew 6:24 – “…You cannot serve both God and money.”   As the STOP Masturbation NOW self-celibacy movement becomes more successful and influential, it appears that the pushback from our detractors has increased as well. […]

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