Celebrity

Lena Dunham: Masturbation Led to Abuse of Sister, Green Hair

Lena Dunham: Masturbation Led to Abuse of Sister, Green Hair

HBO actress and writer Lena Dunham is catching a firestorm of criticism after bloggers have called attention to a number of shocking revelations in her book, Not That Kind of Girly. In the book, Dunham talks about her privileged upbringing and her ultra-rich left-wing artist parents, growing up in a […]

by November 4, 2014 10 comments Celebrity
Professional Wrestling Fandom: A Lurid Den Of Masturbation

Professional Wrestling Fandom: A Lurid Den Of Masturbation

I happened upon a dark corner of the worldwide web recently and found a disturbing trend amongst fans of professional wrestling. It appeared that many of the fans could no longer just admire these athletes but had to sexualize them. Their desperate declarations of their sin activities done to photographs and […]

by October 16, 2014 4 comments Celebrity, Sports
Amanda Bynes in 2006, before masturbation nearly destroyed her life.

Profile Of A Famous Masturbator: Amanda Bynes

The allure of Hollywood draws in the unholy from all walks of life. Brother Lonnie has made it clear in the past that no one is safe from the dangers of masturbation; including and especially the rich and famous. In many of these cases, the actor / singer / songwriter […]

Young Woman Develops Ability to Masturbate to Orgasm with Thought Alone

Young Woman Develops Ability to Masturbate to Orgasm with Thought Alone

(StopMasturbationNOW)— As if female masturbation wasn’t scary enough. It seems a young woman has developed the ability to make herself orgasm without any physical interaction. Meanwhile, there are still too many people that watch Japenese girls get fucked and other stimulating videos to achieve climax, so what’s the trick? 22 […]

by October 7, 2014 6 comments Celebrity, Science
Tim Tebow throws another touchdown pass!

The New England Patriots Have Won ZERO Super Bowls Since Releasing Tim Tebow. Coincidence or God’s Will?

Every NFL fan knows that The New England Patriots have dominated the sport for the past decade, compiling a winning percentage that is by far the best in the league while winning three Super Bowls in the process.  Two seasons ago, the team were poised to continue their dominance for […]

by October 5, 2014 9 comments Celebrity
Autopsy Concludes that Dead Race Driver Self-Raped and Hemp Bonged Before Deadly Race

Autopsy Concludes that Dead Race Driver Self-Raped and Hemp Bonged Before Deadly Race

Twenty-year old Kevin Ward, Jr. self-raped and hemp bonged shortly before throwing himself in front of noted anti-masturbation, white Christian warrior and NASCAR racing sensation Tony Stewart according to the recently released autopsy.  Amateur footage suggests that the young driver was masturbating during the race when God fearing Christian white […]

by October 2, 2014 16 comments Celebrity, Death, Morals, Sports
Pioneers in Anti-Masturbation, Episode Two: Neil Armstrong

Pioneers in Anti-Masturbation, Episode Two: Neil Armstrong

HISTORY (SMNNN) Welcome once more to our serial series of great Pioneers in Anti-Masturbation! Today, we showcase Lunar Spacestronaut Neil Armstrong, first man to leave the flat disc of the Earth, and set human foot upon the Moon. In the 1940s or some time about there, Young Neil grew up […]

by September 26, 2014 13 comments Celebrity, History, Lexicon, Lifestyle, Science
Bitter and Angry Obama Flings Coffee in Marine’s Face

Bitter and Angry Obama Flings Coffee in Marine’s Face

When President Obama disembarked his helicopter in New York on Tuesday, he created a firestorm by doing what he has done thousands of times before: Salute the Marine standing on the tarmac. Only this time, he had a cup in his hands, and he somewhat awkwardly delivered the salute while […]

by September 25, 2014 9 comments Celebrity, Politics
The Self-Rape Salute: PresiDON’T Obama Disgraces His Office Yet Again

The Self-Rape Salute: PresiDON’T Obama Disgraces His Office Yet Again

Barack Hussein Obama, our first Muslim President, has disgraced the office of POTUS time and again during the six long years we’ve had to endure him. Bowing to foreign dignitaries, playing golf, wearing the wrong color, being the wrong color — there’s just nothing this arrogant, godless man won’t do […]

10 Famous People who Died from Masturbation

10 Famous People who Died from Masturbation

(StopMaturbationNOW)—Even though it is proven that masturbation is a top ten cause of disease, it still remains popular among some celebrity circles as “cool” and “hip”. However there is nothing “cool” and “hip” about death. David Carradine David Carradine is an American actor and martial artist, best known for his […]

by September 24, 2014 13 comments Celebrity
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