Hollywood, CA – Leaked footage cut from the finished Left Behind, this year’s anticipated blockbuster Christian film from director Vic Armstrong and starring Nicolas Cage, apparently shows Cage masturbating for a full 12 minutes prior to the return of Jesus. The books, written by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins, […]
We may have figured we’d heard the last of them, but the sinister homosexual noise band, Queen, has released another splattering of dread onto the faces of the public. The deeply offensive tracks in their current live album were actually taken from a concert that occurred years ago. The music […]
Hello, my name is Lonnie Childs and I am the founder and president of the STOP Masturbation NOW self-celibacy movement. Welcome to my netsite. Many years ago, while living at home as a 25 year-old youth, my mother walked in on me as I raped myself an image of black […]
Preventing masturbation is a cause that has been championed throughout history by many great normals. Among the outstanding members of this fraternity of morality and decency, one man stuck out like a sore-thumb, and eventually, rose to become the cream of the crop of medical anti-masturbation. I speak of none […]
As fellow Christians and believers in Brother Lonnie’s divinity you are well aware that South Dakota recently passed Tina’s Law which bans masturbation and dangerous interracial coupling. Many of the naysayers have asked how can you enforce such a law and our answer has always been the Council of Morality […]
Last week, Minnesota Vikings quarterback, Adrian Peterson, was arrested in his hometown for a mysterious domestic violence charge. This came on the heals of Jerry Rice’s suspension and dismissal from the Baltimore colts for disciplining his wife in an Atlantic City elevator. Today, the Cobb County prosecutor announced that […]
Earlier this month, our sister-news site “Vice News,” broke a story about rapper “Coolio” attempting to film a music video about Masturbation, for PornHub Records. The Normal people who lived in the neighborhood where the production was taking place called the police to report masturbation-type activities. Mr. Coolio and his […]
Mayor of Toronto, Mike Tyson (pictured above), flew into a profanity-laced tirade after a fellow non-normal news reporter shamefully drudged up a two-decade-old self-rape conviction. On live television, Tyson called news anchor Nathan “Debbie” Downer the f-word, the s-word, and a rat. Such language has never before been heard uncensored on […]
Today, we mark the 13th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks which brought this nation to its knees (homogays were already there, of course). Like the Kennedy Assassination, we all remember where we were the moment we heard the news. Most of us were in the middle of […]
Thomas Decarlo Callaway (aka – Cee Lo Green), the once relevant singer/songwriter perhaps best known for his hit song “Let’s Stay Together” has been under fire after having a series of tweets on his official Twitter profile taken out of context. The tweets by Green were a strange set of messages […]
