Hear that sound? That’s the sound of Satan accepting a new victim into his realm. Michael Hutchinson, lead singer of British death metal band INXS, died recently due to masturbation-related complications. From an outsider’s perspective Michael seemed to have a fulfilling yet wild life. He had money, fame and respect. […]
It’s easy to get discouraged in the fight against masturbation. Big Masturbation and its allies for years have been undermining the moral fabric of this country through the schools, Hollywood, the LIEberal media and sports. Today marks a turning point in our struggle. International black baseballing super star Sammy Sosa […]
Turkmenistan- (SMNNN) In the backward and primitive sand covered land of Turkmenistan, the Portal To Hell, a large super-natural fire filled hole in the ground, powered by the Earth’s release of natural gas, and God’s rage, has increased by 27% in intensity since last year. Faithscientists place the blame squarely […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— A rash of sinkholes has been attacking Asia and the Orient as of late, causing billions of dollars in damage and claiming countless lives. From Siberia , to China and now Korea.. where a record-breaking skyscraper has been doomed by sink holes. Sinkholes or just “Sin Holes” Are holes in the […]
There’s been a lot of hateful and just plain wrong comments directed at this holy netsite and Brother Lonnie in particular regarding baseless claims of racism. I am shocked, hurt, outraged, appalled and shocked by these unfounded and libelous claims. Brother Lonnie’s favorite secular show was “Good Times” so he’s […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move announced yesterday, Education Secretary Arne Duncan unveiled a new proposal to ensure American students achieve early proficiency in Mexican language and culture. “We have an urgent challenge. Our educational system will soon absorb millions of children from south of the border. At the […]
Rejoice brothers and sisters! A moment of righteous vindication is upon us. After weeks of false accusations and liberal media criticism, Brother Lonnie’s Bleach Away The Sin therapy for children of dangerous minorities is exceeding all expectations! Hours after an incentive program was introduced guaranteeing certain benefits for the parents of enrolled children, the […]
In Brother Lonnie’s first and only round of golf, he has managed to shatter the 18 hole record of 34 set by North Korean dictator/professional athlete Kim Jong-Il back in 1994 which was also Kim’s one and only round of golf. Kim Jong-Il’s 38 under par round included […]
SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Masturbation is a sin that breaks God’s heart. Thus, the true soldiers of God have always been at war with The Masturbator. Professor Milton Grits explains how in the 20th Century the forces of good came together and struck down the enemy masturbator like a lightning bolt […]
Chelyabinsk, Russian Communist C.C.C.P (SMNN) Thanks to a huge out-pouring of public information, B.L.U.F.F and The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow’s informational staff have found evidence that a 16-year-old female was killed by a meteorite impact, while masturbating outside, during the Chelyabinsk Meteor Incident in February of 2013. Magda Leshniac […]
