[Editor’s Note: This post was originally written on April 20th] Today, as millions around the world celebrate the birth of Adolf Hitler, I am reminded of the genocide that is happening right under our noses. Literally. Each day in America, there are an estimated 250 million acts of male masturbation, […]
LIBERLAND, EUROPE – Europe’s newest country, the tiny nation of Liberland, was heralded into existence earlier this week. The new nation-state, situated on the banks of the Danube River on a strip of land between Croatia and Serbia, was created by Normal European citizens looking to escape the high tax […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—After the fantastic success of our Fappy the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin program we had a lot of requests for him to speak to many Mexican areas of our country and around the world, the problem is as everyone knows, dolphins don’t speak Mexican. So thanks to a $50,000 research study that […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— Yesterday an airplane tragically crashed in France . The news has been very sad. However photos of the victims seems to focus on the more attractive normal skinned passengers that perished in the tragedy. This raises the question, does society value some people more than others. It seems there is […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Self rape is a number one killer, however some times masturbators put others in harm. Recently airlines started offering in-flight pornography videos encouraging mile high masturbation. Today an Airbus A320 crashed over France, one of the leading countries for masturbation per-capita. Coincidence? Maybe, but the facts are there for all to see. […]
ISLAND MEXICO (SMNNN) Often, we here at Stop Masturbation Now Ministries are asked just how successful are we at converting heathen, self-rapist, foreigners into useful, upstanding, God-fearing, productive members of society. Today, we lambast the nay-sayers, and sinning unbelievers, who mock us so readily, and often, with the masturbatory drivel, […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— Until recently we had never heard of Caitlin Stacey. Apparently she is an Australian (Island Mexican) “Actress” who has starred in such films as “Tomorrow”, “When The War Began” and the docudrama “Reign”. She is a 24 year old normal skinned girl, however inside she only seeks to corrupt […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—I know they say hate the sin but not the sinner, well sometimes with masturbators that just cant apply. A giant sinstick has appeared on a mountainside in North Wales, in the UK. It is believed to currently be the largest depiction of a weiner in the world. The 100-foot massive […]
(StopMasturbationNow)—Canadian SS squads recently uncovered a massive underground tunnel dug near the Pan American games site in the Canadian capital of Toronto. Initially Canadian authorities were baffled at the mysterious tunnel. The mysterious tunnel measured more than 6 feet in height, nearly 3 feet in width and about 33 feet […]
(StopMasturbationNow)— Recently our editorial staff traveled overseas to cover two events that took us to less than appealing countries. First, the surprise resignation of Pope Benidict Arnold XVI took us to Italy to cover the papal concave that elected the first Mexi-Pope, Francis in March 2013. Then the next year […]
