STAMFORD, CT (SMN) — Word has spread quickly tonight that World Wrestling Entertainment has purged former “Superstar”, Terry “Hulk Hogan” Bollea from their entire website and have also removed him as a judge on their weekly reality show ‘Tough Enough’. That has been much speculation on what would cause the […]
Diogo Dias Cortérro (1460-1525) A Spirited man of a rock-solid Christian foundation, Diogo Dias Cortérro was much more than an explorer during the Age of European Expansion. Cortérro was born in Vigo, Spain to a devout couple within the moral confines of wedlock (1460). His early years were spent in […]
Parents, have you ever imagined your child masturbating? Do you worry what they do when your back is turned? Do you fear that they will fall into the grip of Satan? Worry no more! Introducing the Anti-Masturbation Cross®! Designed by STOP Masturbation NOW engineers, this wondrous restraining device allows you […]
We here at Stop Masturbation Now Ministries often hear the dribble from masturbators that “Too much build-up of sperm in your system is un-healthy.” While that is partially true, it is not entirely true. Have you ever wondered why nobody dies from too much build-up? After all, people die […]
BEDFORD NY-Veteran actor/comedian Chevy Chase, 71, has been arrested and charged with aggravated felching by Bedford Police after allegedly getting down on his knees and forcing an oral purge of his juices from an unidentified fornication partner. According to a statement released by the Westchester County sheriff’s office, Chase, whose […]
Ever since the Oriental race was first domesticated by man, the female of the species has proven herself an excellent companion to her male better, attending to his needs for a negligible fee and enduring psychological and bodily torments Western women have long since spurned, though it is their biblical duty […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Americas motto has been to give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Nowhere did we ever ask masturbators to come here. Actually its exactly the opposite. Last week Mexican mariachi star Ariana Grande launched her own terror attack at America when she went into […]
(StopmasturbationNOW)—Masturbation has been a long proven top ten cause of disease, a gateway drug to rape, and is the leading cause of homosexuality and erosion of family values. However we are just now realizing the damage that masturbation does to the environment. After 26 years of keeping quiet, a monster black hole […]
Beloved comedian, actor, producer, philanthropist and all-around good guy; Bill Cosby, has been accused by a former actress of forcible Self-Rape. Tamika Jones claims that during the 1980s, she compulsively tuned-in to PBS’s broadcast of “Picture Page” and would masturbate while America’s Male-Sweetheart would draw pictures and tell stories. Miss […]
(StopmasturbationNOW)—This past Sunday was the finale of the 2015 Women’s Soccer World cup. A record number of people worldwide tuned in to watch Americans destroy the Chinese and once and for all get revenge for the cowardly Pearl Harbor attacks. Initially viewers were in for a treat as the United States jumped out […]
