(StopMasturbationNOW)— About 670,000 residents in Oregon were advised Friday to boil drinking water after several tests showed semen in some water samples, the Portland Water Bureau said. Hipsters masturbating in the towns mountainous reservoirs is most likely the cause. Masturbation is one of the fastest methods for spreading disease. […]
Real Dad’s sneak into his daughters room while she is sleeping to sniff her fingers to see if she is spelunking in Satan’s SinCave. It is your job to keep her from safe from self rape and the awful side effects such as the horrible stigma, the pot weed addiction, […]
As we all know, masturbation deaths come in fours. Please share these memers with your friends, family, and co-workers. Praise!
Masturbators are often full of diseases and have criminal intent. Here is how to avoid one:
(StopMasturbationNOW)—After nuclear power was proven 100 percent safe, Godzilla producers needed to find another more realistic causation for a creature like Godzilla to exist. Masturbation was the only thing that fit from a scientific point of view. This weekend I had the opportunity to view this Documentary and I was […]
Men: The invisible victims of female masturbation By; TheRev Leroy Jenkins The twenty-first century has spawned a sort of equal opportunity for female masturbation. It is no longer a predominantly Non-Normal race male issue. In a 2014 poll, taken by the Wellesley College Professor of Women’s Studies, Dr. Raejean Hardon, […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)— Wil Wheaton, the controversial actor who was universally disliked in his role as Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels has given up masturbation. After only three months free of self rape, Wil began looking more healthy and found new roles acting in dramas Like NBC’s Chicago Fire.
(StopMasturbationNOW)— This morning a Florida man was masturbating when the friction of him touching his sinstick caused a firenado. As we know masturbation is wrong and the wages of self-rape are death. Please remember to help work to make masturbation illegal.
Teach her about the dangers of masturbation. Do it today. It’s the greatest gift a father can give!
(StopMasturbationNOW)–It is well known that men prefer women with a thigh gap. The thigh gap is a symbol of innocence and purity as the willingness and readiness to procreate are visibly seen. Unfortunately masturbation causes a buildup of fat and muscle around the thigh area from an overage of orgasms. […]
