(StopMasturbationNow)—Masturbation is the number one cause of lying worldwide. From “just a minute” to “it’s good for you” masturbators lie constantly. Last weekend, professional golfer and PGA tour pro Robert Allenby told police he was kidnapped, assaulted and robbed Friday night after missing the cut at the Sony Open. On […]
(StopMasturbationNow)—Lebron James is a well-known masturbator. The Le Batard family is a well-known bastion of moral values. On Christmas day Lebron and the Cleveland Lebrons entered a game in Miami with a fairly respectable record of 17 wins and 10 losses. After the Miami Heat thoroughly defeated the Cleveland Lebrons […]
The true champions in the College Football Playoff National Championship was the crowd, for sitting through this snoozefest of a game. There were 1 or 2 exciting moments, no huge comeback, no 102 yard kickoff returns. It was pretty boring. Watching Urban Meyer smile for the first time in his […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—People from New Orleans are terrible people. They build their homes below sea level and then when they get flooded they whine and complain and expect people the rest of the country to rebuild their homes. Well today in a nice football game against the Cincinnati Bengals a New Orleans […]
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CHAPEL HILL, N.C. A report, called the Wainstein report after U.S. Justice Department official Kenneth Wainstein who conducted the investigation, has found that over the course of two decades nearly 3100 University of North Carolina students were involved in academic dishonesty. More disturbing is the finding that over one half […]
(Stop Masturbation Now)—Free and open radio is an often overlooked part of Americana, a thing that makes America better than its socialist neighbors. However, even in today’s liberal culture, occasionally a radio program rises above the rest to shine. Today we would like to honor the Dan Le Batard show […]
I happened upon a dark corner of the worldwide web recently and found a disturbing trend amongst fans of professional wrestling. It appeared that many of the fans could no longer just admire these athletes but had to sexualize them. Their desperate declarations of their sin activities done to photographs and […]
Twenty-year old Kevin Ward, Jr. self-raped and hemp bonged shortly before throwing himself in front of noted anti-masturbation, white Christian warrior and NASCAR racing sensation Tony Stewart according to the recently released autopsy. Amateur footage suggests that the young driver was masturbating during the race when God fearing Christian white […]
Oh, righteous of women, serve your man the brewed nectar of grain and hops for with he shall enjoy the nfl action. Make not appearances without a scrumptious snack or beverage in silent servitude, for the action is intense and worthy of thy male eyes. Forthwith, during halftime, pleasure thou […]
SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Did you know Stop Masturbation Now Ministries Inc. is GIVING AWAY a fully semi-automatic AR-15 assault rifle? Yes! For a limited time, you can enter the official SMN Rifle Raffle to win a brand new high-tech tactical Armalite AR assault gun! This Colt AK-15 assault submachine rifle […]
