PACIFIC GROVE,CALIF. — This week, forensic investigators announced that 53-year old singer-songwriter John Denver lost control of his light aircraft while masturbating, causing the plane to crash into Monterey Bay, Calif. 17 years ago. The case, which had been closed several years ago following an inconclusive investigation of Denver’s airplane […]
Robin Williams has committed suicide.The Oscar-winning actor/comedian killed himself in Tiburon, in Northern California. His people tell us he’s been recently battling severe depression. According to the Marin County Sheriff Christopher Huckeby… authorities found Williams’ body inside his home. They say he was found unresponsive.He was unconscious and not breathing […]
Hear that sound? That’s the sound of Satan accepting a new victim into his realm. Michael Hutchinson, lead singer of British death metal band INXS, died recently due to masturbation-related complications. From an outsider’s perspective Michael seemed to have a fulfilling yet wild life. He had money, fame and respect. […]
Masturbation is a same-sex sex-act that one performs on themselves. By doing so, you touch the sex organ of your own gender and become so aroused that you climax. This conditions the body and mind to become a gay. It’s like Karate for perverts. If you do identify as homosexual, […]
WATERTOWN CT- (SMNNN) Masturbation, or self-rape, as the sinful practice of self-sexual gratification is known, has long been a leading cause of death. Over the decades, Hollywood has had more than it’s fair share of auto-erotic-suicides. Here’s a list of the top five. 5)- Ernest Borgnine Mr Borgnine, star […]
Stop Masturbation Now Ministries led by our spiritual leader Brother Lonald “Lonnie” Childs has been at the forefront of masturbation FaithScience and has made numerous advancements and FaithDiscoveries regarding our knowledge of self-rape. For instance it was our own FaithScientists along with Brother Lonnie’s fervent prayers that discovered that masturbation […]
YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK/ PORTAL TO HELL (SMNNN) The Yellowstone super volcano is due for the largest eruption ever seen in the 8,000 year history of the Earth, and masturbation is definitely the causes, say leading Faithvolcanologists. Masturbation, long conclusively proven to be causing Global Warmings, is now known to be […]
EAST COAST- U.S.A (SMNNN) An unprecedented increase in various species of sharks attacking and eating people, is most likely caused by masturbation, Faithscientists say. This year, dozens of people on the East Coast have been attacked and/or eaten by sharks, and until recently, nobody had even the slightest clue why. […]
SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Masturbation is a sin that breaks God’s heart. Thus, the true soldiers of God have always been at war with The Masturbator. Professor Milton Grits explains how in the 20th Century the forces of good came together and struck down the enemy masturbator like a lightning bolt […]
Morris Browder had seen a lot in his 115 years on God’s Earth. He lived through the first World War. He lived through the liberal created Great Depression. He lived through the non-normals attacking Hawaii in the 1940s. He even lived through the wars of non-normal aggression in Korea, Vietnam, […]
