Science

A New Species Of Human By 2050? Here’s The Faith Science…

A New Species Of Human By 2050? Here’s The Faith Science…

“We will see a new species of human, or sub-human rather, by 2050 if things progress at current rates.” That’s a pretty shocking claim from Faith Scientist Dr. Ian Norton, but Dr. Norton backs up this claim with decades of evidence he and other faith researchers have compiled to prove […]

by September 12, 2014 9 comments Animals, Death, Faith Graph, Science
Solar flares joins the list of self rape excuses

Masturbator Caught! Blames Solar Flares!

NEWBERRY PALMS, CA – Earlier today, 15 year old Cindy Saccapelli committed the sin of masturbation at her Catholic place of learning. When first responding school officials questioned her, she claimed the stains on her cheerleader uniform were caused by solar flares. The cheerleaders of Our Lady of the Blessed […]

by September 11, 2014 3 comments Science
Masturbation Causes Ocean Holes

Masturbation Causes Ocean Holes

The Ocean-(SMNN) We here at Stop Masturbation Now are, as always, on top of all environmental damages caused by masturbation’s deadly residue, masturbation residue film particles. MFRPs have been proven to cause all manner of terrible holes in the ground, but now, they have taken to causing holes all up […]

by September 11, 2014 7 comments Foreigners, Science, World
9/11 Was an Inside Handjob

9/11 Was an Inside Handjob

  Today, we mark the 13th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks which brought this nation to its knees (homogays were already there, of course). Like the Kennedy Assassination, we all remember where we were the moment we heard the news. Most of us were in the middle of […]

This chart clearly explains this is happening.

Masturbation Poisons Groundwater

Danvers ME-(SMNNN) Elementary school students of Danvers, Maine have tested at an all-time low, and masturbation is to blame, say new studies done by B.L.U.F.F. Aqua-management Surveying Division. Masturbation Film Residue Particles, or MFRPs, as they are more popularly known, from Snow Mexican seminal fluids , are believed to have […]

by September 10, 2014 2 comments Foreigners, Lifestyle, Morals, Science, Uncategorized, World
Faith and Drug Adminstration (FDA) Approves New Masturbation Cessation Aid Masturbutrin®!

Faith and Drug Adminstration (FDA) Approves New Masturbation Cessation Aid Masturbutrin®!

In the race to end masturbation, medical interventions are nothing new, but then again neither are male enhancement drugs such as this https://www.vigrx.com/products/vigrx-organic-bio-maca/ and many others. Since the late 1930s, electroconvulsive therapy has been a mainstay of practitioners who love righteousness and hate sin (Shalavin, 2013). But homogays and masturbators […]

The Non-Normal Hole ( also called a Black or Negro Hole) is one of the most preposterous lies sLIEnce has come up with yet!

sLIEnce Claims To Find Non-Normal Holes in Space Caused by Masturbation

SPACE- (SMNN) Noted liar, Black sLIEnce Man, Neil Degrasse Tyson, and his on-again off-again homogay boyfriend Michio Kaku are claiming that Non-Normal Holes are infesting space, and are present all over the Universe. Both charlatans claim that these Non-Normal Holes were formed, get this, BILLIONS of years ago and are […]

by September 9, 2014 10 comments Morals, Science
Do Not Take The Bad AIDS Challenge

Do Not Take The Bad AIDS Challenge

“Our prayers will heal the damage to your soul from life of masturbation, but only time will heal your vagina.” – Brother Doug Pinnic The fact that masturbation gives you the Gay, is basic Faith Science. And if we learned anything from Tom Cruise’s movie “Philadelphia”, is that unlike famous basketball […]

Blue whales are once more free to swim in the semen infested oceans of Earth.

Blue Whale Poulation Rebound As Sperm Whales Are Destroyed

The Oceans and Seas (SMNNN) Tea-drinking Englishes say in a recent report by the Queen (or whoever rules the islands of Englishes), that the global population of Blue Whales has rebounded over the last 20 years as Sperm Whale extermination continues. Whaling, long touted as barbarism, and a well-know source […]

by September 6, 2014 3 comments Animals, Foreigners, History, Science, World
a latex glove can help prevent the spread of STDs from every day objects that masturbators touch

Unprotected Masturbation: Know The Risks!!!

  Unprotected masturbation is the leading cause of STDs, and here is why: Take the number of men and women that engage in unprotected masturbation and multiply that by the number of: door knobs, toilet flushing handles, crosswalk signal buttons, drinking fountains, handshakes, etc. What you end up with is […]

by September 3, 2014 21 comments Science
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