BLUFF HQ-STAFFORD, AZ – A recent study just concluded by Brother Lonnie’s University of Faith Facts (B.L.U.F.F.) in association with The Foundation for a Better Tomorrow has confirmed what we at the SMN Ministry knew all along – the men of B.L.U.F.F. have substantially larger penis sizes than those of […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Our Leader Lonne Childs, through the act of fapstinence, has the ability to see into future events. One of the largest events of this decade is the Scottish vote for independence. The United Kingdom is looked up to by most countries as the Worlds grandparent. Because of this UK news […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—It is well proven that masturbation is a top ten cause of disease. One of those diseases is mental illness. Masturbation rage is a form of mental illness where one gets irrational, angry, violent, uppity or just plain old mouthy because of Masturbation. Pittsburg Steeler Antonio Brown today took his […]
Officials speculate that an attempt to join a fictional ‘club’ of masturbatory achievement has led to a small plane crashing off the coast of Jamaica on Friday. Many details are still unknown, however it is now confirmed that the doomed flight left Rochester, New York this morning and became “unresponsive” […]
Don’t Masturbate, it’s a Sin. God Bless, TheRev Leroy Jenkins
It has come to our attention that some of the lesser of our followers are a tad squeamish using the Anti-Masturbation Cross® on their children. While Brother Lonnie and God will deal with you eventually, in the meantime the Faithscientists at Brother Lonnie’s University of Faithfacts (B.L.U.F.F.) have come up […]
The Oceans and Seas (SMNNN) Tea-drinking Englishes say in a recent report by the Queen (or whoever rules the islands of Englishes), that the global population of Blue Whales has rebounded over the last 20 years as Sperm Whale extermination continues. Whaling, long touted as barbarism, and a well-know source […]
Note: The following is a excerpt from the King Lonald Holy Bible, a more accurate account of God and Christ. …and so it was that Brother Lonald, adhering to the Lord’s Calling to deliver the message of self rape abstinence to the afflicted third world countries of tribal Africa, was […]
A 15 year old boy in Tucson, AZ had a rude but justified intrusion early in the morning of July 30th. As he sat at his $2,000 pornographic research device called “Macbook Pro” and stroked the unholy inverted cross, a swarm of ducks poured through his window and attacked him, […]
Thomas Decarlo Callaway (aka – Cee Lo Green), the once relevant singer/songwriter perhaps best known for his hit song “Let’s Stay Together” has been under fire after having a series of tweets on his official Twitter profile taken out of context. The tweets by Green were a strange set of messages […]
