I previously discussed popular songs that had a committed message of anti-masturbation; even more rare, however, is the anti-masturbation concept album. Many would think some of these are designed to be listened to whilst going out with a london escort, but that may not be the case. There have been […]
TAMPA, FLA — (SMNNN) Former B movie actor (Muppets from Space, Wrestlemania III) and current belt merchant, Hulk Hogan, received a severe injury to his hand after trying in vain to beat Hugo Lopez’s recent World Record for Masturbation. Hogan, 60, sometimes forgets he’s not the character, Hulk Hogan, that he played […]
Safford, AZ- in an amazing show of Lonnie’s power and the love of our Lord, youth at our annual BLUFF Teen Campaway outing performed a 65 hour prayer circle for the janitor on site. Unaware that he was being prayed for, James Willford, a former agnostic and admitted African-American, claims […]
B.L.U.F.F. — Big Masturbation has released a horrifying new masturbation device in the guise of exercise equipment. Please protect your children by reporting and picketing the stores that are selling this device. WARNING: THIS VIDEO CONTAINS HORRIFYING DISPLAYS OF SIN AND SODOMY. PLEASE REMOVE WOMEN, CHILDREN, AND OTHER WEAK-MINDED INDIVIDUALS […]
La Falda, Argentina – Residents of a small town in Argentina are celebrating today as one of their own citizens has become the new record holder in the field of masturbation. From 8pm Thursday evening until 8pm Friday night, 22-year-old Hugo Lopez from the city of La Falda masturbated a […]
SAFFORD, ARIZ. — Here at Stop Masturbation Now, we eschew the practice of ejaculatory orgasm as a wasteful and sinful release. Our mission is to educate you of its negative physical and spiritual consequences. Ever since Onan spilled his seed upon the ground, men have been shooting putty with […]
HARVEY, Ill. (WLS) A man was arrested and charged after Harvey residents caught him masturbating in front of two girls in the south suburb, police said. Witnesses said he repeatedly claimed that his perverted act and shameful display of his small genitals was related to his anger at finding out […]
By TheRev Leroy Jenkins EDWARDSVILLE, Ill. (BLUFF PRESS) – A southwestern Illinois man found mentally fit to stand trial on charges that he molested a puppy is waiting for court officials to decide if he’s a sexually dangerous person. The National Report reports former Stop Masturbation Now Inner Deacon & […]
A Coral Gables, Florida woman is suing her employer, Hobby Lobby, over their refusal to supply her with what she considers “birth control.” Linda Ferno, a seven year employee at the Coral Gables location of Hobby Lobby was hoping that her employer’s contribution to her government mandated health insurance […]
It’s common knowledge that masturbation turns ordinary people into criminals and perfectly healthy people into Stephen Hawking. But what about our planet? Is the Earth feeling the sting of masturbation? Your average masturbator burns between 50 to 150 calories with every masturbation session, depending on factors such as: […]
