Archive for October, 2014

Study: Masturbation is Directly Related to Lower Wages

Study: Masturbation is Directly Related to Lower Wages

(Stop Masturbation Now)—A new study just released by the foundation for a better tomorrow shows a direct correlation between masturbation and lower wages in America. A two year federally funded study of six thousand Americans across various races, ages and genders was completed in which they looked at average wages […]

by October 21, 2014 18 comments Money, Science
Lonnie is Homo With the Father

Lonnie is Homo With the Father

WARNING: TL;DR The Father is homo with the Son. The Son is homo with the Bird. The Bird is the Word. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. Behold, the Technical Virgin […]

Guys: How to Tell a Girl is Masturbating at You

Guys: How to Tell a Girl is Masturbating at You

(StopMasturbationNOW)— Female masturbation is one of the most disgusting things in the known universe. And it is well proven that masturbation is rape. But Guys… how can you tell if a girl you know or are dating is thinking of you as she plays with her sin cave? 1, She […]

by October 20, 2014 58 comments Spot a Masturbator
Masturbation is Russian Roulette!

Masturbation is Russian Roulette!

Heart attacks, blindness and ligament damage (Devil’s Elbow) are all diseases associated with self-rape.  Whenever you masturbate you’re playing Russian Roulette!  Your next stroke of the sin-sword or ringing of the Devil’s Doorbell could be your last!  Do you really want to go out like British rocker Michael Hutchinson or […]

by October 20, 2014 11 comments Death
King Lonald Holy Bible-A Reading From the Book of Bromans

King Lonald Holy Bible-A Reading From the Book of Bromans

“that if you profess with your mouth the Lonaldian creed of Thy Lord Jesus and believe in thou shalt remain placidly until Almighty God has raised It upon His command, you will be saved. For with those that cease their self-raping ways in the glory that one believes unto thy […]

by October 17, 2014 6 comments King Lonald Holy Bible
This is a sin!

Reminder: Stimulating Your Genitals With Foreign Objects or Foreign People is Sinful Behavior

Faithfact #698:  Stimulating your sin zones with dangerous foreign objects or people is considered masturbation.

by October 16, 2014 17 comments Faith Fact Series
Professional Wrestling Fandom: A Lurid Den Of Masturbation

Professional Wrestling Fandom: A Lurid Den Of Masturbation

I happened upon a dark corner of the worldwide web recently and found a disturbing trend amongst fans of professional wrestling. It appeared that many of the fans could no longer just admire these athletes but had to sexualize them. Their desperate declarations of their sin activities done to photographs and […]

by October 16, 2014 4 comments Celebrity, Sports
Daily Affirmation: Stand Tall Against Sexual Angst

Daily Affirmation: Stand Tall Against Sexual Angst

by October 14, 2014 5 comments Lonnie Childs
Inanimate Object Rape Intesifies as EbolAIDS Becomes Airborne

Inanimate Object Rape Intesifies as EbolAIDS Becomes Airborne

SEATTLE WA/ WALPOLE MA- (SMNNN) Faithscientists suspect EbolAIDS, the most dangerous masturbation-spread and homogayest of diseases, has possibly become airborne, as they predicted it would, following two cases of inanimate object rape, a sexual act so disgusting it would require one to be in the fatal stages of the Airborne […]

Skittles-The Official Candy of Big Masturbation

Skittles-The Official Candy of Big Masturbation

Many of you know or have heard of Governor Mick Huckleberry of Arkansas. He has done a mountainous job of exposing the lies and under cover game plan of the far left with his actions when in office and on his current events program on the otherwise liberal fox news […]

by October 13, 2014 4 comments Big Masturbation
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