(SMNN) The sad fact of the matter is, no one asks to be self-raped. You don’t wake up in the morning, and say “Hey, maybe I’ll violate myself today, that’d be great.” Self-rape happens. Here we have the chilling confession of a self-rape survivor, who wished to remain anonymous. “I […]
WATERBURY CT- (SMNNN) The End of Days maybe be upon us all, thus ringing in the beginning of the Rapture, and it all centers on one small city in the forgotten state of Connecticut. Waterbury CT, a small and once-cursed by Native Tee-Pee and Wigwam Indians to be an uninhabitable […]
![(image source: By Thue (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)](https://stopmasturbationnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Car_crash_1-174x131.jpg)
The world’s last great think tank, The Foundation For A Better Tomorrow, recently finished an 18-month study on the root cause of automobile accidents. The results they found, while predictable, were still shocking to the average American who still has not accepted Lonnie Childs as their personal anti-masturbation savior. Car […]
Many non normal Americans have been falsely categorized as being ungrateful for the many accomplishments of the normal white man under Brother Lonnie’s supervision. Despite left wing media jibberish, blecks are quite happy to have had their ancestors brought to american via top notch cruise vessels to perform the tasks […]
WARNING: TL;DR The Father is homo with the Son. The Son is homo with the Bird. The Bird is the Word. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. Behold, the Technical Virgin […]
Hollywood, CA — Exciting news for Big Lebowski fans around the world as a sequel to the cult classic has just been announced. Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, directors of the first Lebowski movie, confirmed with E! Online they will both be returning to direct the sequel. “We’re thrilled to […]
HENRICO-VA (SMNNN) Alfonzo (last name withheld) died last week of masturbatory semen toxemia, a horrible condition caused by years of shameless and compulsive self-rape, which causes it’s victims to inflate with excess semen due to an over-stimulated sin-center in the masturbatory cortex. Alfonzo suffered from this disease for weeks until […]
In a scene straight out of a Hollywood script, Brother Lonald “Lonnie” Childs saved everyone aboard a Virgin Airlines flight to Los Angeles from a self-rape terrorist attack by notorious masturbater Doug Adams with the help of Jesus and his blunderbuss “Ol Tess”. Adams attempted to bring down the flight […]
Today, normals of the faithful flock, I’m going to introduce you to Bryce*. At first glance, Bryce seems Normal enough: He’s a Caucasian male, early thirties, has a good job at a PR firm, follows the teachings of Christ, and always brakes for animals. Looks can be deceiving, however. […]
