WASHINGTON, D.C. — Disgraced U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, the nation’s so-called “top cop” and chief legal adviser to President Barack Obama, has announced his imminent resignation as new revelations about the Justice Department’s secretive Operation Fap and Furious come to light. It has been learned that the covert program, […]
When President Obama disembarked his helicopter in New York on Tuesday, he created a firestorm by doing what he has done thousands of times before: Salute the Marine standing on the tarmac. Only this time, he had a cup in his hands, and he somewhat awkwardly delivered the salute while […]
Barack Hussein Obama, our first Muslim President, has disgraced the office of POTUS time and again during the six long years we’ve had to endure him. Bowing to foreign dignitaries, playing golf, wearing the wrong color, being the wrong color — there’s just nothing this arrogant, godless man won’t do […]
When Barak Obama signed the 19th Amendment into law few could have seen the unintended disastrous consequences. LIEberal activist judges have taken liberties with this new law imbuing it with rights that were never intended. The 19th Amendment was designed to make female circumcision legal and somehow these hactivist judges […]
Today, we mark the 13th anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks which brought this nation to its knees (homogays were already there, of course). Like the Kennedy Assassination, we all remember where we were the moment we heard the news. Most of us were in the middle of […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—Our Leader Lonne Childs, through the act of fapstinence, has the ability to see into future events. One of the largest events of this decade is the Scottish vote for independence. The United Kingdom is looked up to by most countries as the Worlds grandparent. Because of this UK news […]
American Billionaire and sometimes computer whiz kid, Bill Gates, shocked second amendment advocates when he donated $1 million (SMD) to a Washington State campaign to expand background checks on gun sales. Naturally, this has made some very proud Americans angry and they are now questioning Bill Gate’s “philanthropic” actions. It […]
A two-year study by the Foundation For A Better Tomorrow found that the TSA Backscatter Anti-Terrorist Scanners not only kept America safe but also reduced the urge to masturbate in those travelers zapped by the machines. Faith Researcher and spokesman Paul Nelson explains, “We followed travelers that went through the Backscatter […]
I’m sure we’re all aware of how Great American patriots like Todd Akin consistently get shamed by the media for their unconventional views on self-rape. Considering we’re now six years into the nightmare that has been the Obama Administration, such things, while not accepted, are unfortunately expected. However, over the years […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—The Greatest president in recent memory, George W Bush took the ALS Ice bucked challenge with incredible grace, class and dignity this week. He was nominated by other great Americans: Jenna Bush Hager, Rory McIlroy, Woody Johnson, and Coach Jim Harbaugh. After successfully completing his challenge. he then challenged “His […]
