(StopMasturbationNOW)—According to our Leader Lonnie Childs, the referendum on Scottish Independence has failed. Stop Masturbation Now is the first organization to release the referendum results. The referendum failed by a larger margin than polls indicated. This is mostly due to the fact that younger voters seemed to dominate the polls […]
Apple’s roll out of their new mobile operating system, iOS 8, has already met iPhone users with a host of new problems to contend with. Early reports are showing potential problems with iTunes replacing music files but that is a problem for users that can even download the update to their […]
Faith Scientists, working in conjunction with Faith Healers and Faith Physicians, have succeeded in making an accurate, over the counter test for parents to detect masturbation activities in their children. The new test, called F.A.P. Certainty™, will be available by the end of 2014. The test, while being marketed towards responsible […]
When Barak Obama signed the 19th Amendment into law few could have seen the unintended disastrous consequences. LIEberal activist judges have taken liberties with this new law imbuing it with rights that were never intended. The 19th Amendment was designed to make female circumcision legal and somehow these hactivist judges […]
As fellow Christians and believers in Brother Lonnie’s divinity you are well aware that South Dakota recently passed Tina’s Law which bans masturbation and dangerous interracial coupling. Many of the naysayers have asked how can you enforce such a law and our answer has always been the Council of Morality […]
(StopMasturbationNOW)—.An East Carolina couple have made national news by being the first parents to put their child up for adoption due to masturbation. 16 Year old Rachel Evans admitted to masturbating to a lesbian scene in a penthouse branded magazine she had “borrowed” while babysitting. Usually parents give up their […]
![(source: By BuzzWoof (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons)](https://stopmasturbationnow.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/640px-Jelly_Fish2-174x131.jpg)
A Florida man is dead after being swarmed by box jellyfish in the waters off of Apollo Beach over the weekend. Tampa Bay authorities have identified the man, Martin Robertson, 18, of South Tampa and have confirmed he was alone at the time of the attack. Initially it was unknown […]
GEORGETOWN TEXAS-(SMNNN) An 18-year-old pizza store employee in Texas has been charged with a felony after police say he rubbed his genitals on food he was preparing for a customer. The Georgetown Police Department arrested Austin Symonds last week and charged him with tampering with a consumer product. Sadly, he […]
Last week, Minnesota Vikings quarterback, Adrian Peterson, was arrested in his hometown for a mysterious domestic violence charge. This came on the heals of Jerry Rice’s suspension and dismissal from the Baltimore colts for disciplining his wife in an Atlantic City elevator. Today, the Cobb County prosecutor announced that […]
A story has been circulating the Worldwide Web about an extreme masturbator, Zheng Gang, died committing the sin of masturbation while on the premises of a sperm bank. It seemed like the proper time to expose the horror know as the “sperm bank”. Your average “sperm bank” is a Obama […]
