Morals

Annual 4 Corners Mass-Wedding Ceremony Set for September

Annual 4 Corners Mass-Wedding Ceremony Set for September

  Have you ever dreamed of participating in a mass-wedding ceremony performed by your favorite alternative religious leader?  What about joining, in holy matrimony, with four of your same-race assigned spouses at the same time?  If so, you will be glad to know that SMN Ministries has the Annual “4-Points […]

Introducing the Anti-Masturbation Cross:  Safely Train Your Children To Keep Their Hands Off Their Dangerous Sin-Zones

Introducing the Anti-Masturbation Cross: Safely Train Your Children To Keep Their Hands Off Their Dangerous Sin-Zones

Parents, have you ever imagined your child masturbating? Do you worry what they do when your back is turned? Do you fear that they will fall into the grip of Satan? Worry no more! Introducing the Anti-Masturbation Cross®! Designed by STOP Masturbation NOW engineers, this wondrous restraining device allows you […]

by July 17, 2015 804 comments Morals, Self-Rape Prevention
A Hand Up, Not a Hand Job

A Hand Up, Not a Hand Job

  Ever since the Oriental race was first domesticated by man, the female of the species has proven herself an excellent companion to her male better, attending to his needs for a negligible fee and enduring psychological and bodily torments Western women have long since spurned, though it is their biblical duty […]

Rain in Washington D.C. Thought To Be God’s Tears Following Landmark Decision To Allow Gay Marriage

Rain in Washington D.C. Thought To Be God’s Tears Following Landmark Decision To Allow Gay Marriage

SMNNN (WASHINGTON D.C.) Weather.com reports rain and thunderstorms in the Washington D.C. today, following the landmark decision by the Supreme Court to recognize gay homosex marriage and queerosexual unions, and to disobey the Lord and his holy wishes, ultimately ushering in the Rapture, signifying the beginning of the end of […]

Do Redheads Raise Masturbation Rates?

Do Redheads Raise Masturbation Rates?

(StopMasturbationNOW)—One central theme constantly comes up on our masturbation hotline. “I need help! I saw a redheaded girl today and I’m having trouble not masturbating.” But what makes it true, is it the uniqueness that drives men crazy, is it the pale and therefore more attractive skin? Or is it […]

by June 18, 2015 20 comments Morals
Forced Masturbation of the Handicapped is a Real Thing (Video Proof)

Forced Masturbation of the Handicapped is a Real Thing (Video Proof)

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Masturbation is a top ten cause of disease and also destroys American Family Values. Almost as much as making people gay liberals love to make people masturbate, whether it be television shows like Modern Family or movies like the Avengers, masturbation is everywhere. Usually its the innocent that make the worst victims […]

by June 2, 2015 6 comments Morals, Politics
Greatest Anti-Masturbation Song of all Time Turns 50 Years Old Today

Greatest Anti-Masturbation Song of all Time Turns 50 Years Old Today

(StopMasturbationNOW)—Most music since the 1930’s and FDR has promoted masturbation. However 50 years ago today the greatest anti-masturbation song of all time was released. Meat Loafs I would do anything for love but I won’t do that (Masturbate) was the first pop song that dealt with masturbation and the need […]

by May 19, 2015 4 comments Morals
The Real Holocaust Happened in Your Pants Last Night

The Real Holocaust Happened in Your Pants Last Night

[Editor’s Note: This post was originally written on April 20th] Today, as millions around the world celebrate the birth of Adolf Hitler, I am reminded of the genocide that is happening right under our noses. Literally. Each day in America, there are an estimated 250 million acts of male masturbation, […]

Can Smoking Help Prevent Masturbation?

Can Smoking Help Prevent Masturbation?

(Stop Masturbation Now)— Smoking has gotten an unfair bad reputation recently. The truth is that smoking can reduce masturbation desires up to 50%. When one smokes two things happen. One, the hands are busy and therefore do not wander to the sin regions of the body. Second, the after effects […]

by April 19, 2015 25 comments Morals, Science, Self-Rape Prevention
Thailand Cracks Down On Women Creating Masturbation Materials

Thailand Cracks Down On Women Creating Masturbation Materials

In a rare move of anything resembling sanity, the military government of Thailand has spoken out against lesser-gendered members of the Thai populace making pornographic styled pictures of themselves. Specifically the men in charge of the Thai government are enraged about these lesser gendered members of their society taking photos […]

by March 17, 2015 8 comments Family Values, Morals, Pornographics
Help Stop Masturbation Now!
Get the latest content first.
We respect your privacy.